Developing a Safer Caring Plan

Children should call you by your first name.

Discourage the child from calling you 'mummy' or 'daddy' because it causes confusion about their own family.

Physical Contact

You must provide a level of care, including physical contact, which demonstrates warmth, respect and a positive regard for children.

Physical contact should be given in a manner, which is safe, protective and avoids the arousal of sexual expectations, feelings or in any way which reinforces sexual stereotypes.

The following include areas which could involve physical contact and which you might want to include in your Safer Caring Plan:

Showing Affection

One of the prime tasks for foster carers is to work with the children to maximise opportunities for forming and benefiting from positive relationships with adults.

Warmth and understanding are essential, but everyone needs to know and understand when a relationship is inappropriate. Showing affection is a very important part of your caring role and should never be avoided because of the fear of allegations

Children who have suffered many unexpected losses in adult relationships are likely to be constantly fearful of being abandoned again.

Children should always be asked first if they would like a kiss, hug or a cuddle. They need to be taught by a caring adult to say ‘no’ if they do not want to be touched and what touch is appropriate touch.

Families will all have different ways of showing affection and you need to be careful not to impose your way on others. If touch has meant something other than affection to a child in the past, they might not understand that when you try to show them affection.

Listen out when children are playing and check when they go quiet. Encourage children where possible to play in public parts of the home.

You may feel that the child should play with friends at your home, rather than at the friend's house, particularly during the early days of a placement. This may be more difficult when they are older children. If you are not sure, talk to your Supervising Social Worker.

• Put in place clear rules that say bullying is not acceptable and what actions will be taken if the foster carers suspect bullying or are told of bullying happening;
• Make it clear to children what is acceptable behaviour;
• Provide opportunities for children to think about the issue of bullying e.g. writing stories or poems or drawing pictures about bullying;
• Have discussions about bullying and why it matters;
• Be good role models as foster carers.

If possible, children should be supported and encouraged to undertake bathing, showers and other intimate care of themselves without relying on carers. If children are too young or are unable to bathe, use the toilet or undertake other hygiene routines, arrangements should be made for carers to assist them. Sensitivity to a child’s preference for a care giver of the same gender for intimate care should be considered. 

The Bathroom/Toilet

Arrangements for intimate care of young and/or disabled child should be set out in the Placement Plan for each child.

Children who are old enough should be encouraged to wash themselves and should have privacy in the bathroom. It may be possible to sit outside the bathroom so a child remains safe yet is able to bathe in privacy.

Ideally where possible carers should have a two way lock on the bathroom door so that access if needed in an emergency can be gained from the outside.

Menstruation

Wherever possible, girls should be supported and encouraged to keep their own supply of sanitary protection without having to request it from carers. There should also be adequate provision for the private disposal of used sanitary protection.

Enuresis and Encopresis

If it is known or suspected that a child is likely to experience enuresis, encopresis or may be prone to smearing it should be discussed openly, but with great sensitivity. Issues should be discussed with the child if possible, and strategies adopted for managing it. These strategies should be outlined in the Child's Placement Plan. Please be mindful of the fact that the review of the plan may be held in the presence of a variety of involved professionals and be mindful of a child or young person’s sensitivities when discussing such issues. It may be appropriate to consult a Continence Nurse or other specialist, who may advise on the most appropriate strategy to adopt. In the absence of such advice, the following should be adopted:

• Talk to the child in private, openly but sympathetically;
• Do not treat it as the fault of the child, or apply any form of sanction;
• Do not require the child to clear up unless agreed as part of the treatment strategy; arrange for the child to be cleaned and remove then wash any soiled bedding and clothes;
• Keep a record;
• Consider making arrangements for the child to have any supper in good time before going to bed, arranging for the child to be woken to use the toilet during the night when needed;
• Consider using mattresses or bedding that can withstand soil. You may be able to request a mattress protector from the fostering service if you need it.

Children who are old enough should be encouraged to wash themselves and should have privacy in the bathroom.

You have responsibilities towards the children you are looking after and towards those you ask to babysit or look after children. You need to think about what you can do to avoid putting anyone at risk.

You should agree with your Supervising Social Worker what are satisfactory arrangements for caring for children when you are out, and who you can leave the children with. You could make an arrangement with other foster carers, or your delegated support carer.

Think about who travels alone in a car with a foster child. It can be a good way of the child having one-to-one contact because it can be easier to talk without any eye contact. However, a child who has, or may have been, abused might feel unsafe alone in a car with an adult.

Carers need to consider the best place for the child to sit, based on individual needs and circumstances and all children should have suitable seat belt restraints or car seats.

It should be clear in the Placement Plan who can sign to agree for the child's photo or video footage being taken in settings such as school.

If photos, videos or the internet have been part of any abuse for the child/young person, you should check the best way forward with the child's social worker.

It is always helpful when you do take photos or videos, to ask the child's permission first and make sure that they get copies and that they know who else will see them and why.

Be sensitive to how children react to having their photo taken. Do not take photos of children having a bath or wearing no clothes.

When the child uses the internet, take an interest in what they do and agree, when, where and how they will use it. Look into some software that filters inappropriate material for children.

Also see: Internet, Photographs and Mobile Phones.

Children with a disability may be particularly vulnerable to abuse.

There may be more of a need for intimate personal care. Where a child/young person has a disability or complex health needs, you should speak to the child’s social worker for advice.

Foster carers will need to make sure that a child/young person with communication difficulties is able to express their wishes about personal care, and this should also be recorded.

It is important for people to dress appropriately when in the house. Make sure that your family, and foster children have nightwear and do not walk around the house naked or partially clothed.

Some parents like to let young children get into their bed to talk and listen to stories or to be comforted when they are not well. It is one of the dilemmas you face when as a family you are trying to give your own children a normal upbringing whilst wanting to provide a safe environment for the children you foster. Foster carers should not share their bed with a foster child or get into the child’s bed. Sharing your bed can trigger the memory of abuse and give the wrong messages about what might happen and what is acceptable. It will be safer to provide all children with a time of affection outside your bedroom, telling stories and maybe having a hot drink together.

Children under 2 can sleep in a foster carers bedroom but must be in a separate bed or cot.

Depending on the age of the child, it may be appropriate that you should knock on the child’s bedroom door before going in.

Your plan should be clear about bedroom rules.

Children over the age of 2 should have their own room but some sibling groups will be able to share. When siblings do need to share, they should have their own space in the room and somewhere to store personal possessions. The supervising social worker should complete a bedroom-sharing risk assessment in these circumstances.

Children should not share beds. Some children who have been abused might need their own space so that they learn that they have the right to be safe and private. The most important thing is for them to have somewhere to keep their belongings safe.

Children should be encouraged not to play with other children in their bedrooms and to stay in communal areas of the home. If there are periods of time when older children spend time together in their bedrooms, then the door should always be left open and the carers should offer an appropriate level of supervision and monitoring.

Bedtimes are an opportunity for carers to show care and warmth towards the child, striking the balance between rules and safe caring need to be found for each individual child. The rules are similar to bath time. Carers should leave the door open when putting children to bed. A chair beside a child’s bed or sitting on the edge of the bed on top of the covers is a way for the carer to maintain some sort of normal bedtime routine and offer comfort to a child if they need it.

Relationships and sex education is important for all of us as we grow up. This should also be age appropriate. Children need to be helped to think about what makes a good friend and what makes a bad friend. They need to learn how to avoid situations that might put them at risk of abuse and how to protect themselves and others. Children need to learn how to say 'no'. Carers need to know how to explain the difference between what is and is not acceptable behaviour and how to help children change behaviour that is not right for their age. You may need to say that you are talking to them about relationships and sex to help them deal with situations, feel safer and as part of growing up.

Families will have different approaches to this subject and how children get information about relationships, sex and sexuality and what they are told. You will need to find out from the child’s social worker what the family's approach was and the best way of dealing with this, particularly if the child/young person has a different cultural or religious background from your own. You may also want to check out with school/educational setting what they are doing on the subject so you can be prepared.

Providing a safer environment means that other children in the foster home must understand that any sexual activity with a foster child is as unacceptable as with a biological brother or sister. See Relationships and Sex.

The most important thing is that the child feels they can come and ask you questions and talk to you about the subject if they are not sure. Foster carers should never share personal details about this subject with the child.

Discuss as a family what routes you will take if a fire starts and practice an evacuation. Think about where keys are kept so everybody knows where they will be for the front and back doors and windows. This should be recorded in your fire safety plan which accompanies the safer care plan and health and safety assessment.